The Saboteur

 
 

I texted a friend goodbye as I was leaving for a week of meditation in upstate NY.  She replied, “Deal with your saboteur before you go”.  My response was, “what? I don’t have a saboteur, I’ve been going on this retreat for 7 years for a month each time.  This time will be a synch, its only a week”.    And as my reactor self settled down, I realized that:

1. I am blessed with powerful spiritual women friends, whom I have prayed to have in my life- I better listen to what she says.

2. My self-sabatoge is so deeply engrained and habitual that its hard to notice.She gave me some clues into this deep work of the saboteur, all by text of course.

“Its an essential part of survival and can cause destruction to get its need met.  Its gifts are that it highlights fears of self empowerment.  Its 3rd chakra stuff.  Go deep into prayer there.  Open to where you are afraid to see. ”

“Deep and habitual? Welcome to the club… Now find the gifts”